A Spiritually-Programmed Retard

I am THE superior lap-dog

I once met this someone, an ‘it’ who (or rather which) was good at tall tales.  Let me share one of such tales with you.

“I know you are bored to death.  I have seen you have finished Usman Awang and Samad Said’s collections. Before you move to Said Zahari or Pak Sako, let us play a game.”  The look on its face was uniquely enthusiastic yet challenging.

“I prefer dam haji.”

“Hah...How primitive!” it retorted.

Finally I agreed.

“I am a dog and as such not so ‘humane’ as you are.  Let us reason out very objectively ― why I am convinced that I am hundred times better off than you are!”

2.

Here is the transcript of our ‘debate’.

IT:  I am a dog, a real lap-dog my master could not live without.  Nothing in this universe can ever deny that fact.

ME: I am a human being.  How on earth could a dog be far more superior to a MAN like me?

IT:  Yes outwardly you may seem to be a complete human being, one that walks on two legs.  Actually you do not walk, you crawl. 

ME: How dare you!

IT:  You crawl because deep inside, you are scared.  Yes, deep inside you, you are fretting and cursing yourself for not being you real self but a slave ― a slave of your burning desire for your version of the BR1M!  Aren’t you the slave of your conscience?  THE MASTER CHEATED YOU NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, NOT THRICE BUT ― 13 TIMES SUCCESSIVELY, and yet you are contented to accept the cheatings. How miserably pathetic you really are!

IT: Don’t you think I am better off? At least I am a confirmed lap-dog: A Spiritually Programmed Retard, though.